User blog:THEJJRAT/Stuff and more stuff also
It was a cold day in Butt-In-Burg. People were buying packs of shrimp to warm themselves, as the town was somehow under siege by snow. "How could this be?", they asked, "It's supposed to be mini-summer!". However, they soon realized some scumbag was raining down snow and ice via a space machine that makes ice. Who ya gonna call? Father Pooper, that's who! He was the strangest of all the land, but he was also the toughest, the kindest, and the most helpful, if I might add. He drove to Poop Street, and walked into a Dooby factory. There he met troubled citizens, who wanted to stop the snow that plagued the Earth as of 2017. Father made a hearty chuckle, and called in his friends via telepathy. Soon, Boba Fett, Luigi, Darth Vader, Grand Moff Tarkin, Batman, and The 10th Doctor. "Always glad to help, Father." they said, and they hopped on a TIE Fighter to stop the mad villain. There he was, on his space mAchine in space. "I, Sexy Birdman, will take over the galaxy!" the humanoid bird man chuckled, until he was shot in the knee. "Not so fast, birdman." said Father Pooper, a grin on his black sexy face. "How, how could it be? I thought you died when you fell in that hotdog maker!" Birdman yelled. "Nope" So then Birdman summoned an army of evil Shrek clones. They fought their way through and banished Birdman to Phosphate Prison, and went on their merry way. may the 4th be with you I guess idk Other Btw it goes downward like a manga or something idk I'm lazg read from the bottom and up its confusing So they decided to take out Smoke and reclaim the asylum with these two newfound companionsSuddenly, Wario trampled in on horseback, only the horse was Pink Guy. He came to the aid of Toe and Phasma, defeating all but one of the prisoners. Said prisoner claimed to hold the name "Papa Joe," and he begged for mercy at the foot of Wario and his mighty steed. Wario begrudgingly spared the prisoner, but at the cost of having him as a personal attack dog. Wario then pledged his allegiance to Toe and Phasma, both of which were in shock at just how powerful the fat little man was. He looked on his Pip-Boy, and discovered that Robbie's tracker was located in Penitentiary. He ran out of the building and found himself outside, on Arkham Island. Phasma had followed him, the rest staying behind and playing poker with the warden and getting lapdances from the Joker and various lady villains. Toe had discovered that the island was taken over by escaped Blackgate prisoners, who were killing the security team. "Dun da dun dun, Big Smoke here. You may be wondering why I'm taking over Arkham. Well, it's because I wanna make it my drug palace, so I can make some sweet ass coke. I'm gonna call it Smokeham Asylum. Peace out, yo." the intercom said, having been taken over by Big Smoke. Toe suddenly realized magically that a team of guards had taken up shop in Arkham Mansion, and had a key to the Penitentiary. Toe decided to attempt to get the key via asking them nicely, but they were attacked by prisoners with pipes and baseball bats. "HE'S GETTING AWAY!" Yelled toe, looking to batman for help. Batman was of no use, as he was still squabbling about the ant eater that was digesting his testacles. So toe took off after Robbie, attempting to regroup with him. Darth Markiplier then ran away into an air vent, screaming unknown things and something about penises. He had faked his death."it's ASSH" Doug screamed. He dropped to his knees and begged for mercy, but the charizard bit his head off. "Someone wants your head for a couple of rare candies." Ash said, pulling out an AK-47. Batman threw a batarang at him, while Robbie escaped. Ash, a batarang stuck in his hand, throws a poke ball at the ground and a level 9001 ant eater came out. "BOOTY BANG, USE ANT EAT" Ash said. The ant eater launched at Batman and sunk it's teeth into his balls, Batman screaming and attempting to fling the devil off. However, a man in a tracksuit appeared through a portal and pulled out duel makarovs, blowing Ash's head off and capturing his charizard in a bottle of vodka. "Cyka blyat." the man said, squatting on Ash's headless corpse.toe screamed, watching as Darth Markiplier fell to the ground. a couple of fireballs came careening in, aiming for Robbie and Batman. Doug Dimmadome spun around in shock, coming face-to-face with Ash Ketchum and his Charizard. Suddenly, a man with a pink moustache and a black cloak appeared. "It is I, Darth Markiplier!" the man said, pulling out a pink lightsaber. Robbie gasped, hiding behind Batman. Two pink stormtroopers followed Mark, along with a bunch of battle droids. However, Doug pulled out his dimmashotgun and dun dimmashot the dimmadroids. "That's right, I'm Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome!" Doug replied. Toe squealed, as he always wanted to touch Dimmadome in some places. "where the skies are blue" Big Smoke sang. "I fucked my sister in alabama" Phasma notes. "Doug Dimmadone, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome?" Toe asked Toe cheered on for Batman regardless, but Dr. Kleiner was soon followed by Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome. Batman attempted to defeat Smoke, but Smoke turned Batman into a tiny Cluckin' Bell. "I'll have two number times, a number nine large, t-" he then turned back into Batman and smacked Smoke. But then Toe realized Dr. Kleiner had arrived to pick sewer pickles growing in Killer Croc's cell."sWeeT hOMe aLAbaMA!" the toe sang alongBut then Big Smoke appears and causes a prison break, and break dances while singing Sweet Home Alabama. Also its magna guard and banshee but I'm too lazy to correct it so fyck me Suddenly, Phasma pulled out a rocket launcher and fired at the swarm of droids, killing every single one of them. A magma guard entered, and whacked her with its stick thing. Phasma fell to the ground, knocked out. This enraged Papa, who set the leg himself and slapped the magma guard. It begged for mercy, on its knees. Papa agreed, and let the guard live. He named the guard Boxer Kazoey, his trusted droid companion. "Robbie, Markiplier found our location! We need to escape!" Sue screamed. Robbie Rotten jumped out of an airvent, as he was fixing the vents because some guy in a HEV suit kept crawling through it. "What?! Dear God, we need to evac?" Robbie yelled, casting a spell that teleported them somewhere. It was Arkham Asylum, Batman finally waking up. But he woke up to Catwoman, Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, the Joker, Killer Frost, Silver Banchee, Mayor Sharp, and Magenta fucking each other in the ears. He was enraged, and screamed like a six year old who didn't get his tendies. The toe dropped to his knees, begging him for help. He nodded, before pulling out his giant glass red dong and stuffing it up Papa's pooper. He thrusted long and hard, screaming "OH YEAH!". Papa was unaffected, however. He then thrusted so hard it pierced Papa's kidneys. As Papa loves his kidneys, he snapped out of it and shot Kool Aid Man with his annabelle. Kool Aid screamed, the red liquid inside pouring out before he dropped dead, a lifeless pot of nothing. A clone trooper then burst out the window, "Watch those wrist rockets." he said, a wrist rocket flying by the toe. "We got battle droids!" Papa screamed, ducking behind cover. The clone opened fire at the droids, taking out a super. Darth Markiplier had sent in the battle droids to kidnap Robbie Rotten, but Papa was sure to not let that happen. Papa pulled out two laser miniguns and went Rambo on those guys, exploding parts of droid flying everywhere. Toe ducked to cover, crying in confusion. Suddenly, Papa got shot in the knee by a droid. He screamed, ducking for cover. Sue Acachalla stormed the building and blew a droid's head off with his trusty Colt Python. "We have to set the leg." Sue said. The toe cried, looking around for help, when suddenly, kool-aid man burst through the door "OH YEAH!" Batman had passed out, due to his wound. The toe attempted to give him a blowey joey, but he failed as he realized Papa's underwear was nailed into his flesh. So he hit him in the face with a baseball bat."PAPAAaaaAaaa." the toe wailed, unsure of what to do. he looked to batman "dO soMethinG!" Papa kept staring, explosions and blood shed flashing before his eyes. He saw when he was forced to kill an enemy soldier who had become trapped, and when he killed one of his own just to have a meal upon his flesh. The toe slapped him in the death stars, but it was no use. "PAPa?" said the toe, shaking papa vigorously. "snAp oUt of IT"Papa kept watching the TV, ignoring the toe. This made Toe eat the TV, in anger. Papa was disgusted, and slapped his jiggly ass. He then froze and stared at a lamp, having a Vietnam flashback.notice me senpau" said the toe Papa, however, was a tough nut to suck. He was currently distracted by a TV playing Seinfeld, and was only aroused by pots of meatloaf and jalapeno cheddar sausages. "ooh (;" said the green toe And attempted to get jiggy with it with Acachalla. the green toe person screamed in agony But the toe person got shot in the back by Papa Acachalla. "tHANk you captain Phasma!" the toe person cried with joy. "I am the best at foot engineering." Phasma said. She pulled out a toolbox and went to work "oH gREaT and pOwerFul CapTaiN oHAsmA, wiLL yoU noT aID us In repAIriNg bTamAns fOot?" screamed the green toe-being "It is i, batman" Batman said, throwing a batarang at the floor. This pierced his foot, making him scream in agony. Even worse, it was sonic, so it made a pulse that fried his flesh. Suddenly, Captain Phasma appears."oh myGOd it's baTMan!" said the had-been toE. "And I like being Shrek's right toe" said Batman, who appeared in a cloud of smoke. *flops over* "I do not like being anything but Shrek's left toe In Robbie Rotten's vacation home, Gotham City... Kkkk My name is Dr. Harp Seabody of Black Mesa. The year is 2016.... and we've done something horribly wrong. We were working on an experiment called the "Orange Asshair", where we were attempting to grow orange ass hair from Xen crystals. Traveling to Xen is extremely dangerous and costly, it caused an alien invasion once. But we did it, because Dr. Breen wanted so much ass hair that he could fill a jar full of ass hair. I was working with Anomalous Materials when we were attempting to open another portal to Xen, the borderworld, when we made a grave mistake. Milky, a fat security guard who always hogs the snack machine, threw a McDonald's Big Mac into the portal in frustration, as it was opening. This caused numerous explosions to occur, and giant hamburgers came out of the portal and started eating people. Luckily, I made it into the HEV storage room and made off with a suit, and grabbed a shotgun and pistol from a dead guard. I gathered up a team of survivors, and we made it to the Misc Storage room, where we were storing a stolen Aperture Science transdimensional portal opener. We escaped through the portal, and found ourselves in a strange desert world. We plan to make it back to Black Mesa, and close the portal to where ever the gel pooping hamburgers came from. We walked through the desert for some time, finding nothing but empty cans of Pepsi. And dead bodies. The bodies appeared to be soldiers, storm troopers with one red eye, skin tight luscious ladies with Splinter Cell goggles, and also skin tight stormtrooper ladies. I picked off a few grenades; and a mysterious object I believe to be a weapon; off their dead bodies and left them for the space vultures. If there are any space vultures. We made it to what seemed to be stranded space ships, and a hole in the ground. It seemed to be a tentacle-less Sarlaac pit from that one galaxy, which almost led me to believe we traveled planets. However, this was soon changed when God told me it was a different dimension in my sleep. We climbed up onto the ships and set up shop, finding bedrooms down stairs and a bar and kitchen. It wasn't well stocked, though. Luckily, we did grab some food from the canteen at Black Mesa. It'll last us a week, at most. We mainly got soda, bags of chips, burgers (blast them), chocolate bars, donuts, tacos, and a stack of anchovy pizza. This is my journal, and I will update as our journey continues. The Team Above: Garlic Butter Above: Garlic Butter. What a man, I say. He was raised in Iceland by two cloves of garlic, and he grew up to be a garlic farmer. However, he joined Black Mesa in hopes of researching garlic. However, he got guard duty. Above: Marty Seasalad Above: Marty Seasalad. He's one of the worst guards in the entire fuckin' industry, but he makes good hotdogs. In fact, that's the only reason I saved him from a hamburger. If I didn't taste those dogs (and his dog, on one occasion), I would've watched him get brutally killed by alien burgers. Above: Alan Seawacker Above: Alan Seawacker. He's an old hag, but he's quite the man to be around with. He's crazy, he's funny, and he throws quite the party. I once broke both of my arms at his birthday party at the facility, when he used a vending machine as a surf board. Day Two Day one was pretty much explained above. The sun never goes down, so we went to bed when we felt like it. I slept outside on the flag thing while the others were in their warm beds. I needed some more Vitamin D anyway. When I awoke, the others were hanging about at the "hangar" (what we call the entrance bit) and sharing old stories to pass the time. We would return today, but the portal device requires a few more days to charge. I rolled over and fell off the flag thing, and broke a every bone in my ribcage. Luckily, I also landed on a stimpak that Alan left upright as a potentional prank. The old bastard, heh. Anyway, Alan also thought it was funny to push me off the ledge when it took five freakin' hours to climb up last night. I fell face first onto the ground, coarse and rough. It got everywhere, too. I was mad at first, but then some hot chicks with some tight clothes approached me. They were wielding guns, so I assume they were their to either save us or it was going to be one of those weird hentai scenarios. It was neither, unless you're a sadist or something. They shot at me, but many of the bullets bounced off me. I freaked and pulled out my glock, shooting them in the legs because I didn't want to ruin those saucy bodies. A few guys were following them, too. I was overwhelmed by one of the black suited gals, who was more agile than her buddies I was overwhelmed by one of the black suited gals, who was more agile than her buddies. I took cover and cleverly developed a plan while the guards up top took pot shots at her. I created a glass containment chamber and threw it onto her with my physics gun, which I was going during the invasion. She was pissed, just staring at me and shooting at the glass. I laughed, and hit the glass so hard with my HEV-covered hands it knocked her out. I dragged her and threw her on top, and climbed over with the help of Alan and Garlic. I locked her up in the prisoner room, which was once the bedroom I locked her up in the prisoner room, which was once the bedroom. Fuckers have to sleep with me now. No, not that way. I visited her after dinner (fried chicken with velveta macaroni and cheese). She still had her pistols, which were literally glued to her hands. She tried to shoot me, but I slapped her jiggy bum and kicked her face with my HEV-suited ass booty. She begged for mercy, while I threw her against the wall and asked her who sent her in a Batman voice. She said the "Clan", and she said they would kill her now that she said something. I asked her who they are, but she said she said too much. I kicked her in the vagina region several times, her blurting out that they have a base somewhere. Didn't tell me where it was. I gave her a plate of leftover mac and cheese and left. Kkkk New Mexico, 1954 "Alright men, we're minutes away from the Black Mesa research facility. We go in, we kill everything that walks, and we get out. Understood?" Commander Kickdumbottome, wearing his red beret, asked. "Yeah yeah, I just wanna get this over with." a grunt wiping down his shotgun said, smoking a cigar. "Alright. Remember your training, there's some freaky shit going down. I don't exactly know what, but it's freaky." Kick said, looking over at the orange mountains. "Team six, do you copy?" a radio buzzed from Kick's kevlar covered chest. "Yeah, I hear you." Kick replied, pulling the radio out of a pocket on his vest. "Great. We're almost there. When this is all over, drinks are on me." the radio replied. "Heh, I could use an entire bar after what we did over at Anchorage." Kidney said, his voice muffled from the respirator of his power armor helmet. "I hear ya. Those Order fuckers are - err, were ruthless." another grunt said. Jason peered out the open doors of the Osprey, his night vision goggles turning the orange view into pure green. He was silently hoping nobody survives what happened. As horrible as that sounds, survivors thought they were their knights in shining armor. Quite the opposite. "Team six, we're picking up strange readings on the... uh, - What the hell?" Two flying creatures, similar to a big ads stingray, hovered above the two Ospreys following Team 6, and dropped a ball of yellow energy onto them. The ships started exploding, plummeting to the ground. "Holy shit!" Kick screamed, grabbing a rocket launcher from the rack of weapons behind him. "Mayday, may-" the radio screeched, before the soldiers heard a huge boom. "Eat this, you big flying motherhubbing squid fuckas!" Kick said, opening fire at the alien ship and making it explode into a mass of green blood. "Haha!" Kick screamed, before the ship took a blow from the stingrays. "Hold onto something!" Jason yelled, the grunts holding onto whatever they could. Kidney slid down as the ship tipped, they both screaming in fear as Kidney crushes Kick with his power armor. The pilot threw off his Imperial issue AT-AT pilot helmet and ran to the back of the ship, pushing the armored Kidney out of the way (and out of the ship, falling to his presumed death as he screamed every second down). A mass of tentacles then ripped open and out of his chest, which then puked out a bunch of parachutes. It then jumped out of the Osprey and to it's death. "What the actual fuck was that?!" Kite screams, before the rest of the grunts take parachutes and ready for the jump. "I don't have a clue, but you better put this shit on if you don't wanna be squoshed" Big Bacon said. Bacon put on a parachute and jumped out, but they were already at the ground at this point and the Osprey exploded. Two hours later... Jason groaned, coughing and grabbing his head. "W-what the hell happened...?" he asked, opening his eyes to see a man in a lab coat tending to his wounds. He was slumped up against the white walls, in the facility. "Oh, you're finally awake. I found you near one of those planes that crashed." the scientist said, injecting liquid spaghetti into Jason's left nut. "Jesus, I hope Shephard made it..." he said. Suddenly, a man in a green HEV suit ran across the room. "There goes Wilson again, prancing about with his head full of eyeballs." a black scientist with a cartoonish head and an eyepatch said. "Why doesn't this stupid thing work?" another scientist in a white hazmat suit asked, kicking a snack machine at the far end of the room. "I think it's been haunted by my uncle." a security guard named Dexterity said. "Oh Sohn, stop kicking the damn soda machine and help us with our patients." another scientist spat, enraged. This is when Jason noticed that Bacon had also survived, and they had retrieved the corpse of Kidney. "Y'know what Dr. Dickface, you're a soda machine." Sohn replied. Jason tried to get up, but the scientist held him down. "You're in no condition to be walking about, young man." the scientist treating him said. "Where am I?" he asked. "Oh, you're in the australium testing place. This is deep underground the main facility, and it's the only safe place we've found so far." the scientist explained. "Safe?" "Yeah, there are like these xenozappers and head humpers everywhere that, like, shoot lightnin' at your face." Sohn said. "Uh, doc, Weenie Wacamala just alerted us through the terminals at Sector B. There's been a containment breach." a security guard said, following a group of other guards, walking into the room. "Containment breach, whatever do you mean-" "Doc, GC-9232 has been taken out of it's case by one of those xenomorph things." "Dear Shrek... Whatever do we do?" To be continued... Kkkkk On a planet filled entirely with valleys of growing tomatoes, a blue portal opened and out came a spaceship. It was being flown by a compact man with Hershey Kisses hair, and a tiny red shirt. "What is the doing of tomatoes?" he asked himself. He hopped out of the spaceship, and realized what was happening. It was a planet that grew tomatoes! How useful this would be! He instantly started cutting down rows of tomatoes and stuffing them in a bag, before getting shot in the leg. "I AM DOING THE HUrT" he screamed, falling face first onto a tomato. He then got up and healed his wounds with a stimpak, and pulled out an AK-47. "The one who is doing a shoot, do a hands up." the little one said. However, this didn't happen. The shooter, who was a trumpian merc, showed no mercy and fired an E-11 blaster rifle at Jimbles. Jimbles shot his midsection so hard it exploded, and the trumpian died. Jimbles, knowing others wanted the planet, ordered his salvaged battle droids to guard his ship while he used a portal gun to travel to the Star Wars galaxy. 12 BBY, Kamino uprising A room full of jet troopers were readying for the battle, to kill their newer stormtrooper counterparts. They were born minutes ago, and just given the armor and weapons. They weren't ready, but they had to fight. However, a green portal opened and Jimbles appeared. "You are going to be doing a slave." Jimbles said, blasting the packed room of clones with his torture ray gun. They screamed in agony, the rays frying through their skin and burning their flesh and torching their testes, while Jimbles put slave collars on them and teleported them to the planet. Kkk A spaceship in the Andromeda galaxy "rIIIIICK" a small child with a strange haircut screamed, being attacked by two vortigaunts wielding razor sharp dildos. He ran behind an explosive barrel, begging for mercy. "STAND BACK" a skinny man with blue hair and a lab coat screamed, pulling out a minigun-like device hooked up to a lawnmower on his back. "EAT THE FABRIC OF TIME AND SPACE YOU FAT TITTIES" he screams, opening fire. A portal opened, and out came potato men from the 14th Dimension. They took the two vorts and snapped them in half. "We potato." the potato men said. "Yeah yeah" the blue haired man replied, before pulling out a deagle and shooting them both in the heart. The potatoes hit the ground, cold and lifeless. Suddenly, a man wearing solid gold trousers entered the room. "Be gone." he said, snapping his fingers. The magic man sent them to Tuefort. "wherE ARE WE RICK" the child screamed. "Looks l-like B-b-black Mesa..." the drunken Rick muttered. Suddenly, a figure in a red suit and gas mask approached them. It was wielding a flamethrower, and stared at them. It then nodded, before a bullet broke through it's skull. "HOLY TOOTHPASTE!" Rick screamed, jumping out of the way but falling off the ledge, into the ocean below. He screamed as he plummeted to his death, except he didn't die. He freaked the mosquito out and struggled to swim, until a being similar to the one that got shot earlier appeared in the water. It was wielding a neon sign, and staring at Rick with it's cold goggles. "Uh, hi?" Rick awkwardly spat, confused at what the creature was supposed to be. It then swung the sign at him. Rick yelped and swam away, going through a tunnel behind him. The being followed. He eventually was teleported to the Death Star. "You have been saved from a pyroshark." Darth Cadet said. Darth was a strange man, he wore a bucket on his head painted red. "Excuse me?" Rick said as sirens went off in the background. The station then exploded in a huge thing. However, he was teleported to a local McDonald's. This was the final boss. "It is I, Stormtip." the man in golden trousers said. He had a sword in his hand. "You will fight me in order to save the world." he said, offering Rick a lightsaber. Rick then shot him and ordered a salad. Kkkk While in the Spirit World, Korra and Asami decided to go to outer space. This did this by collecting poop rocks, a plentiful mineral in the Spirit World, and coughing at them. This caused it to turn into a spaceship. They entered and readied the alpha cores, turning it on. However, an equalist jumped onto the ship as it started flying, planning on revenge for his people. They make it off the ground, but Asami falls out and breaks both of her legs. "Uh-oh" a heavy says, who appeared in the ship. "HOO-HAH-HO" Korra screams, punching the heavy in the clavicle. It then screamed and bit her booty, causing her to have a seizure. "I have won." the Heavy said, standing in victory. Korra ceased his seizure and smacked him in the coconuts. "Oh NOOO" Heavy said, projectile vomiting whale liver into her face. She screamed in terror as liquid whale liver entered her mouth, nose, and eyeballs. She then puked out the window of the ship. Suddenly, Jesus appeared and teleported the ship to Earth. "what the flying fuck" the equalist asked, hugging the back of the ship. Suddenly, the ship exploded, sending everyone flying away. "I can smell some ass" Korra said. "me too fam" the heavy replied. The equalist stalked them from a bush, ready to assassinate the Avatar and avenge Amon. He sneaked away, realizing he had no actual weaponry and wouldn't stand a chance fist fighting the fucking avatar. They duo ran down the street and came across a Cluckin' Bell. "What is this?" she asks herself. A giant bell, as well as a cock, is on display. She runs inside and looks around. People eating... meat. Meat! Instead of rice! She is angered. She walks to the counter. "Cockadoodlefuckin'doo, what do you want?" the cashier asks. "wHY ARE YOU EATING CHICKENS YOU EVIL PEOPLE" she screamed and used her water bending to freeze soda water and threw it at the cashier. Unlike her planet, the chunk of ice actually pierced his flesh and ripped his heart apart. He fell to the floor, hitting his chin on the counter, a lifeless corpse on the floor. She was shocked. She had just murdered somebody. How? How could this happen? People could take boulders where she lived! Tears formed around her eyes, running out of the store, but was stopped by a wall made out of police officers. "Halt! You have violated the law!" the officers scream. "BUT I WAS STOPPING THE CHICKEN" she screams in protest. The officers open fire, Korra shielding herself with a wall of ice. The heavy stared in amazement. Due to this ice being made of Bonk! Atomic Punch, the bullets bounced off and pierced the officer's skulls, killing most of them and turning the rest into vegetables. A SWAT team arrives, as well as a GenSec squad. Korra was currently staring at the mountain of dead police officers, dropping to her knees. Suddenly, Spiderman web shoots the wall of ice and flings it away, crushing a squad of GenSec elites. He webs down to Korra, on her knees, and beats the fuck outta her face with super speed, before kicking her in the chest and sending her flying across the room. Confused and enraged, she pulls a chunk of rock out of the floor and throws it at him. Spiderman dodged and stabs her with a brick of cheese. She screams in agony, as the equalist jumps through the window behind her and grabs onto her back. Together, Spiderman and the equalist beat her to a pulp. Heavy watches, eating a number nine with extra dip. Suddenly, Sweet and CJ drove through the drive through as police swarmed the area and filled Korra with bullets. The Payday gang enters the store and starts shooting up the place. "Whatchu want sweet" CJ asks. "wait until the dude comes up nigga" "oh" Suddenly, in the carnage, a heavily injured cloaker took cover in the drive through room, with a thick shotgun wound in his abdomen. "Holy shit, they upped the security on this shit foo'!" Sweet said, in amazement. "I want a number 6." Sweet says. "Yeah, we'll have a number 6, a number 8, two number 45s, extra dip, a Kid's Meal with a Nuka Cola, the number two salad supreme, a bucket of chicken, a Big Chick, a chicken crunch wrap, the number 11 BBQ edition, a milkshake, and a Chic-a-Pizza with a large Spunk." CJ says. The cloaker stares at him, before processing the information. He runs into the kitchen and prepares the food while Spiderman and the police fight the gang. He spends about forty five minutes doing this. He slowly bleeds out, as well. He puts on some scooter boot things like they have at Sonic and slides out of the store. He then presents the food to CJ. "Th-DAAAYYYUUUUM" CJ screams, seeing the cloaker's thick cloaker skin tight camo ass and curves, with those sexy night vision goggles. "wanna go rob a bank with us honey bunches of oats" CJ asked, in love with the cloaker. The cloaker was about to object, but then he remembered the gaping hole in his chest. He complies and gives him the bag of food, and gets in the back of the truck. He sets next to a man in a jacket with a sexy nine o'clock shadow. "Holy cyka blyat, lemme fix that for ya!" Niko Bellic, who was said man, yelled and smacked a green med kit on the wound. The cloaker screamed in agony, but it worked. Meanwhile, the gang had fled and Korra was nothing but a body full of bullet holes. The equalist had fled and joined Anarky. Father Pooper entered the store and dragged her out with his blood bending skills. He then resurrects her and sends her back to the Spirit World. The End Kkkkk So I was playing video games with jacket the dude from hotline Miami and eating pizza when we heard weird noises from outside so I got up and it was shrek who appeared and knocked me out and took jacket and raped his booty but I woke up and i stabbed shreks balls and he yelled and I said no and he then stabbed me but then jacket busted shrek's nuts open with a sledgehammer and he screamed in agony and flew away and I comforted jacket as he had just been raped and he had green goo in his ass and I thought oh no so jacket told me to go get birth control pills so I went to go get the birth control pills in luis' pill store but the pills were being stolen by shrek so I shot them all with my e-11 blaster rifle so they died but shrek and his surviving minions fled so I got back with the pills but jacket was already going into labor so I drove to the hospital and we got him to the doctors office stat and we were gonna get an abortion but the doctor was christian so I said "fuck" and I fell asleep so I woke up earlier and jacket was gone and everyone was dead and I was confused but then the ghostbusters appeared and I was like what and they were like die so I dodged their bullets and grabbed a rocket launcher from a dead Marine and I shot them and they exploded but more came so I seduced them andlicked them in the under places and pleased them before shoving c4s up their dickholes and running away as the hospital exploded with blood so I sfole a car and drove back home wondering what happened so I got to my apartment thing and I went up the stairs and opened my door and there was jacket on my dinner table eating soup and he had a baby it was green with legs and arms and baby stuff and shrek ears but he was wearing cloaker armor even the eye thing I asked him what happened and he said that shit went down and stuff so I said yes and I went to the fridge to find my pizza but it was stolen holy dick so I left the fridge but a bunch of ghostbusters appeared with guns so I grabbed a kitchen knife and slaughtered them but one begged for mercy so I did but he stole the pizza so I stuffed him in the oven and baked him alive for six hours to get golden brown so I went to jacket and said what's his name and he said "cloaky" and I said awww so I went to bed and jacket followed me and he pulled his pantsu down so I was like oh dick and we fucked passionately while listening to sweet home Alabama but I forgot to use my condom so I came inside of him and said fick but he liked it so I said oh then we watched the bee movie the next day I woke up and jacket was cuddling next to me with his chicken mask so I say aw but then I realize so I go the oven and the guy is cooked so I prepare ghost buster bacon and prepare breakfast and i said dinners ready but then a first order stormtrooper came to my door and begged for mercy so I invited him in and me jacket and stormtrooper had bacon and eggs and we discussed the news and the weather SuddenlY I looked outside and there were zombies andi said tickling jews and ran back in and I said zombies and they were like zombies and i said yes so I grabbed my sticky launcher and jacket grabbed his jackets piece and the stormtrooper grabbed his f-11d blaster rifle and we left the house and fought the zombies and I said haha as I blew up the zombies and there were hordes so I blew them up and we left for a safehouse and we needed to get back to. cloaky so we stocked up on ammo but we weren't done yet jacket was a hormonal bitch so he started to strip his clothes and chicken mask and the stormtrooper was like what the fuck and I said rhis is normal and he was shy but we did have an awesome threesome that lasted four hours so we got our clothes back on and left and when we got back home cloaky was already four years old and cooking bacon and I said that's my boy and the stormtrooper asked thats your son and I said yes and he said he had a boy before starkiller base blew up and he died and I thought that was no good and I set up a plan to steal a military time machine to stop the base from exploding in secret so we all had cloaky's bacon and eggs The next day me and jacket left for supplies while the stormtrooper trained cloaky to shoot a blaster and we drove up to Walmart and we entered and we killed the zombies with baseball bats and we got in and started getting stuff and jacket bent down and revealed his fat ass in those tight jeans and I was like damn son and I couldn't resist myself so I slapped those jiggly buns and he blushed and pulled down my pants and sucked me off whole covered in zombie blood and I said whoah lad easy there and he went all out on it like a zebra eating cashrws and my eyes went weird and i exploded but not acurally as in the dicktual explode and he winked at me so we went further into the store and we found two things a life time supply of pizza rolls and a Russian mobster detector and jacket wanked to the Russian detector while we hauled them out and we drove back home and went home and we saw cloaky shooting the fuck out of a dead frog and we were proud To he continued Kkkkk Category:Blog posts